


All of the While, I Never Knew

by honeysucklepink



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:52:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeysucklepink/pseuds/honeysucklepink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How did that book describe it again? “Slowly, and then all at once?"</p><p>Yeah, that. That was how Sam Evans had fallen for his best friend Blaine Anderson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All of the While, I Never Knew

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song "Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop" by Landon Pigg. Thanks to Jen for the beta!

How did that book describe it again? “Slowly, and then all at once?"

Yeah, that. That was how Sam Evans had fallen for his best friend Blaine Anderson.

He couldn’t really tell you the exact moment it actually hit him that _that’s_ what it was. It wasn’t in the locker room, after Sam’s outburst during the calendar photo shoot, when Blaine tried to reassure him and calm him down about his future (and it certainly had nothing to do with the memories of Blaine’s bare chest and slight belly that suddenly popped out from behind his regular Kate Upton fantasy and tumbled him over the edge into one of the most intense and _confusing_ orgasms he had ever had when he jerked off that night). It wasn’t in the auditorium, when he confronted Blaine about his crush and just wanted to hold him and assure him that it was okay, while feeling just the faintest hint of disappointment that it was in fact a roll of breath mints in his pocket. It wasn’t in the hallway when Blaine wanted to propose to Kurt and some unknown force besides “you’re too young" wanted to tell him not to do it, or in the jewelry store when he teased Blaine about how flattering it was that he wanted to “do him." It wasn’t in the choir room, before Regionals, when they got into the show circle and Brittany said her goodbyes to everyone. That was just _too_ hard, for everyone, to think about her going away to Boston, wondering if she would ever return. But for just a moment, he remembered, he forgot about his own heartbreak. He had looked over at Blaine, the tear running down his cheek when Brittany called him a brother, and wanted to wipe it away.

It wasn’t even after Mr. Schuester’s impromptu wedding, when Blaine wandered off with Kurt, then came back about ten minutes later, alone.

"What happened?" Sam remembered asking.

Blaine shrugged, his eyes looking lifeless. “He said no," he barely whispered. “And then he left."

Sam hugged Blaine tightly. “I’m so sorry, dude. I really am."

And so after that, both of them now irrevocably single (Kurt had apparently decided that he and Blaine needed a “communication break"), they had started spending a lot more time together.

The Lima Bean held too many memories for Blaine, especially on crowded days when the only table available was “Our old table," in Blaine’s words, so they had started going to another coffee shop near Lima U.’s campus. The biscotti wasn’t as good, according to Blaine (Sam never could tell the difference…biscotti to him was always too hard. He preferred the pound cakes), but the frappes were arguably better. They did homework together, worked on the set lists for Nationals, planned the prom (the _Great Gatsby_ theme was a rousing success), and helped Blaine pick his audition song for NYADA…"Falling Slowly" from the musical _Once_. He had even taught Blaine enough basic chords on the guitar to do a believable accompaniment ("The guy in the musical’s a songwriter, right? You need to sell that!").

The Glee Club trip to L.A. had been a success. In addition to another Nationals win, Sam and a few others had gotten the “grand tour" from Blaine’s brother. Sam knew Blaine needed to decompress after being stuck on the plane between Sugar and Kitty gushing about Cooper the entire way back, so he invited him to meet at the usual spot on Saturday afternoon. He was sitting on one of the couches with a hazelnut frappe and the latest issue of the _Avengers_ when Blaine came rushing in.

"Hey, you’re late man, I’ve been waiting twenty min—"

"I got my NYADA letter."

Sam’s mouth dropped open, finally looking at the envelope in Blaine’s hand, and then looked at his face. It wasn’t the face of someone who had just been accepted, but not someone who had been rejected either.

Blaine flipped the paper in between his hands. “I…I haven’t opened it yet."

"Dude, why not?" Sam asked incredulously. “I saw your audition, you freaking nailed it."

"I just…Sam this is my entire future."

"…and you’re wondering if it’s really what you want?"

"I…how did you know that’s what I was going to say?"

Sam sighed. “Because you haven’t mentioned speaking to Kurt in about a month, since…"

"Since the engagement that wasn’t, I know," Blaine said, swinging the strap of his bag across the back of the chair across from Sam and sitting down. "And now…now I wonder if I should even go to New York at _all_. I mean, when Kurt and I were together it was going to be this great romantic adventure. Then, even at Christmas when we saw each other, it was…good. I thought, ‘maybe if I’m _here_ …’ And now I just think it would be awkward as hell."

Sam looked at the letter in Blaine’s hand. “So, are you going to open it?"

Blaine bit his lip as he kept playing with it. He finally took a breath and stuck it out towards Sam. “You do it."

Sam thought Blaine _had_ to be kidding. “What?"

"I can’t, I don’t even know, it just seems cold to read it in black and white…I think I’d rather hear it from my best friend. Good or bad, it’ll sound better that way."

Sam took the letter from Blaine’s hand. “You sure about this?"

"YES, I’m sure," Blaine said, covering his face. “Just, whatever it says, let me down easy."

Sam tore off the end of the envelope, blowing into it and taking out the letter. He unfolded it, read it…and smiled. He reached to pull Blaine’s hands away from his face. “Dude. It’s good news."

Blaine’s eyes widened. “It is?" He grabbed the letter from Sam, looking over what Sam already knew. “I…I got in. Sam, I got in, oh my GOD I GOT IN!" He leaped up right into Sam’s arms, holding him tightly, and Sam could hear him sobbing tears of joy. “I did it, Sam, oh my God I’m going to New York, I’m going to NYADA, can you believe it?!"

Sam held Blaine snugly, patting his back, “Totally dude, I knew you could do it!" Blaine pulled away, his hand over his mouth. Sam wasn’t sure if he would laugh or cry.

"Oh my God, I, I have to tell Mom and Dad, I…I have to call Kurt! I’m going to go call them right now, I’ll be right back, okay!"

"Sure, I’ll watch your stuff," Sam said as Blaine ran outside with his phone to spread the news. He could feel the grin spread across his face, he hadn’t seen Blaine so totally, completely happy in a long time. His eyes were shining, his skin was glowing with a radiance that had been missing for a while, and his smile could light the Super Bowl. His best friend was going to New York. He was going to get his dream. And all of a sudden, Sam realized just how much he was going to miss him. They would have the summer and then…then he would be gone.

 _That_ was the moment.

And it knocked the wind right out of him.

***

"Alright, welcome back two-time Nationals Champions!" Mr. Schuester announced to a round of applause in the choir room.

"And future three and four-times, can I get an amen?" Unique shouted.

Schue smiled as he grabbed a marker from the dry-erase board. “That’s the spirit! You sophomores and juniors will be leading us as we hopefully continue our streak. But, we cannot forget those who have brought us this far and won’t be there next year. So, for the next week, your assignment is…" He wrote on the board. “ _Memories_. I want you to recall your fondest memories of your fellow Glee Clubbers, especially our graduating seniors."

Sam smiled at Tina, Artie, and especially Blaine. He knew exactly what to sing. It was a song he’d had in his back pocket for a while, ever since he heard it in a diamond ad on TV a couple of years ago. Now he had the perfect person to sing it to.

"Mr. Schue?" He jumped up. “If you don’t mind, I kind of already have something, I think it fits the whole memory thing."

"Alright, Sam Evans, you’re up!"

Sam took his guitar out of its case, then pulled up a stool. He gave no introduction; he was already nervous enough. He decided to just start playing.

_I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you_

_Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you._

_I’ve seen the paths that your eyes wander down_

_I want to come too_

_I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you_

_No one understands me quite like you do_

_Through all of the shadowy corners of me_

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop_

_I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew_

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop_

_I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew_

 

He tried to lose himself in the song, afraid that maybe he was laying it on a little thick. Was it too obvious? Too much? He couldn’t help but sneak glances at Blaine, not to check for a reaction, but just more to draw inspiration. He’d never realized just how golden his eyes were…

_I think that possibly, maybe I’m falling for you_

_Yes there’s a chance that I’ve fallen quite hard over you._

_I’ve seen the waters that make your eyes shine_

_Now I’m shining too_

_Because oh because_

_I’ve fallen quite hard over you_

_If I didn’t know you, I’d rather not know_

_If I couldn’t have you, I’d rather be alone_

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop_

_I love so much_

_All of the while I never knew_

_I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop_

_I love so much_

_All of the while, I never knew._

 

As Sam played the last few notes, he looked up at Blaine, and caught a look of confusion on his face. He quickly looked away, only to see the same look on everyone else’s. Ryder was the first to break the tension, starting to applaud and whistling. “Whoo, good job!" The rest of New Directions joined in, as did Mr. Schue. When the applause ended, he picked up his guitar by the neck and went back to his seat.

"Great song, Sam. Okay, guys, follow his lead, can’t wait to hear what the rest of you put together!"

"If we follow his lead the whole week will be one big ball of awkward," Kitty said, as she picked up her bag. The rest of the club started to get their things together and headed to the doors.

Sam was putting his guitar back in his case, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up knowing whose hand it was.

"Sam?" Blaine asked. “Can you hang back for a little while? Until everyone leaves?"

"Um, sure," he said. They took their time with their things, waiting until the room was cleared and Schue was the last to leave.

Blaine took a chair next to Sam and sat. “Sam, I’m a little confused. Mr. Schue’s assignment was about memories."

Sam shifted, trying not to look Blaine in the eyes.

"That song…I can see how maybe it works. But it’s all about where the guy fell in love. I thought maybe you were singing about Brittany, but you guys didn’t go out for coffee. That, and you kept glancing at _me_."

Blaine placed a hand on Sam’s knee. "Sam? Do you have something you want to tell me?"

Sam didn’t know what to say. So he didn’t say anything.

Instead, he grabbed Blaine by the back of the neck and kissed him, _hard_. One of them, maybe both, squeaked out of shock or surprise. But neither of them stopped.

Kissing Blaine was…different, but not. Sam tried to compare it to past kissing partners in his head. Brittany was a soft kisser, and tasted like root beer and bubble gum. Every once in a while there was a stray cat hair that had flown off of Lord Tubbington and caught in her lip gloss. Santana kissed rougher, with lots of tongue and teeth. Her lips were waxy with the artificial taste of lipstick, but minty too. Mercedes’s kisses were luxurious, plush, and flavored with caramel, like the iced macchiattos she liked to get.

Blaine…well first the obvious, you could feel the slightest stubble, which reminded Sam that there was no doubt he was kissing a _boy_. Then there was his taste; coffee, a with a hint of cinnamon. He could smell the faint scent of raspberry from his hair gel as well as the lingering traces of cologne. Mostly it was the way Blaine’s lips felt; they were slightly dry, and there was a slip and drag, not as much slickness.

Out of nervousness or just habit, he wasn’t sure, but Sam instinctively stuck out his tongue to lick his lips, and Blaine must have interpreted that as a signal, because now he was slipping his tongue across Sam’s mouth and _whoa_. No wonder Rachel raved about Blaine’s kissing skills. Blaine licked across the seam of Sam’s lips, as if tentatively requesting entrance. Sam parted his lips and found himself pushing his tongue into Blaine’s mouth, humming into the warmth and wetness of the kiss. He felt Blaine’s hands come up, combing into his hair, massaging the back of his scalp and the nape of his neck. It was nice…no, it was _really_ nice. Way, _way_ better than just nice.

Too soon though, Blaine was pulling away, Sam chasing his lips murmuring “no, no, wait, no…"

Blaine rested his forehead against Sam’s. “Sam, what are we _doing_?"

"Um, I thought we were kissing?"

Blaine laughed, his eyes crinkling, as he pulled back, his hands still around Sam’s neck. “I know we’re doing _that_ , duh, but…Sam. You’re _straight_." Sam couldn’t quite look Blaine in the eyes, shifting under his stare. “Aren’t you?"

Sam squeezed his eyes shut. “I…thought so? I mean, look, I’ve _never_ been attracted to a guy before, I’ve always been into just girls, _only_ girls, but…" He sighed. “Lately, when we’ve hung out, it’s just felt different, dude. I find myself thinking about you more. Worrying about you, wondering how you are, how you’re feeling, how you _would_ feel, like…" Blaine looked at him questioningly. “Well, _you_ know, how _it_ would feel?"

"Oh," Blaine said, then, “Oh, _Oh_! That, um, well, yeah. I, um…I have to admit, I thought about that too, but it was just harmless fantasizing, nothing was going to come of it."

"And now?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Now, I guess that depends on you. I mean, you just _kissed_ me. And when I pulled away, you clearly didn’t want to stop." Sam smiled, because _no, he didn’t_. “And…honestly, I didn’t really want to stop either."

"Heh, good because I was starting to think I was freaking you out."

"Um, well, you kind of did…but in a good way." Blaine said reassuringly. “Look, I’m not going to lie. I still love Kurt. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop. But if you want to…try? With me? I don’t mean as an experiment though, I don’t want to be that, and I don’t need to lose you as a friend if this doesn’t work out, especially if you’re confused…"

Sam shook his head. “Dude, I’m not confused. Like, I’ve heard of people being, I don’t know what it’s called, but like, they think they’re straight because they’ve only ever been attracted to the opposite, but then they meet someone and it’s just the _person_ , you know?" Blaine nodded. “I think maybe I’m…’Blaine-sexual?’"

Blaine laughed. “Okay, I think we can start with that."

Sam nodded. “Cool. So, can we kiss some more now?"

Blaine stood up and took Sam’s hand. “Tell you what. We can go back to my house, and see where it goes?"

Sam smiled and could feel the blush creeping up his cheeks and into his hairline. Wherever this was going to go, he was sure he would at least enjoy the journey.


End file.
